Bernoulli....

Sitting in Caribu, trying to come up with enough research to make me feel comfortable about the interview and presentation I am going to give tomorrow. It’s a job with a company called MadScience. They give parties and afterschool programs to wee children and try to interest them in science. Something I love. I have to present on Bernoulli’s principle for five minutes.


But I’m afraid that I won’t make Bernoulli’s principle entertaining enough.

I remember the day I taught this to the ninth grade class. Fourteen boys and four girls. Too much energy for a teacher with six weeks experience. I taught them the basics, did a few demonstrations, then handed them two sections of straw and a cup of water in order to make atomizers….it was a good day. Lots of interest and curiosity, and water everywhere.

I miss teaching.

I miss working.

I wish life would get into gear. Any gear will do.

Summer dinner at our house.

Its dinner time in Duestchland. Here are the the ingredients!

(sorry about the quality, my camera is acting up)

Tomatoes. (My parents have had this colander since they were first married 26 years ago. My dad remembers because it is slightly melted at the bottom.)

Plus green peppers (and a few more ingredients)....equal....

Pasta Salad! (in Polish pottery!)

Add Mead.

And chickens smoked on the grill.

Et voila! Summer Dinner.

Strawberries and vanilla ice cream for dessert.

Hello, Sweet Summer...

I miss Boone.

 I miss writing long, boring academic papers about things I'm insanely interested in while drinking cheerwine from CookOut.

I miss having 40 books checked out from the library.

I miss cool summer nights in the mountains with stars like nothing else.

I miss poking through junk shops on Main St.

I miss history and academia and not being looked at strangely when everything I think about relates in some way to history or anthropology.

Oh how life changes!

I am also looking forward to moving to a real, live grown up type apartment complex.

I'm looking forward to wearing heels more often and not tumbling down a mountain when I do.

I'm looking forward to learning to love the flatlands.

I'm looking forward to seeking and finding a new passion (and maybe a coninciding job!).

I'm looking forward to getting the drive to make art.

I am learning.

Thoughts from the road...

Winter hit Boone hard this year. Spring is just now peeking her head around the corner to see if its safe to come out. The roads are all pockmarked and whole swaths of trees are dead and fallen over, their root balls as tall as a grown person.

Jon Amos Comenius, the moravian archbishop who's name my high school inherited used to say that Nature is God's second book. He admonished people to notice the cyclicity of nature, and to use it as a textbook for life.

If there is any lesson I have learned, it is this. After every winter, not matter how hard, no matter how long...there is spring.

 Sometimes spring is a just little long in coming.

"I will change your world for you"

Plant your hopes. 

"Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone;

but if it dies,

 it produces much grain."

John 12:24

He is faithful.

Someone, a good while ago, told me that the Lord was going to return me to my childhood dreams. I was so far into the world of academia, I could not even remember what those dreams were.

So now, about a year later, with everything I held dear in college, gone, I am watching Little Women and remembering. I wanted to be Jo. I lived a childhood of grand dreams of far away places. I thought archaeology would take me there.

And it hasn't.

But there is still a book left in me to write, there is a still a loveable professor's hands to fill, there is still an echoing old house to fill with little boys. There are still adventures left.

Struggles

I have been dealing with emotional backlash from my horomones...and it makes me really frustrated with myself. I wish I was well. I wish my brain and its chemicals worked as they were designed.
I wish I knew if these little problems that I blow way out of proportion due to the anxiety and depression onslaught are going to become big issues in the future.
I wonder if I will every have confidence in a decision I make.

I am fighting an odd and difficult battle, and I'm frustrated.
I need a resolution.