Eucharisteo: Day 3&4

Finally clean. There will be years and years of this making-home



God gave me a travel companion and a best friend.

Eucharisteo: Day 2

It came back to life.

Eucharisto: Day 1

Giving thanks. Everyday.
(Can you guess which book I'm reading?)

I'm still learning.

Lately, I've been learning a new lesson. 
There is power in positivity. 


When this came up in my training at work I thought, as all good military brats do, "what a lot of yuppie, new age malarky." But, as a good employee, (and, as I was being observed) I put the principle into practice. 


In my job, when I'm occasionally in the water with the students,  "NO RUNNING!!!" becomes, "Walking feet! Lets see your WALKING feet!" and "NO SPLASHING!" becomes, "It's not very nice to splash people in the face, let's practice ____." Perhaps not surprising to anyone but me, this ended up being extremely effective. The children responded very well to redirection and direction rather than my previous negative instructions. They learned what behavior I desired, rather than just knowing I was unhappy with their current action.


In my life, I have long been learning this lesson, thought I couldn't have put it in words. In my long struggle with depression, it is necessary to quickly learn to stop negative thought spirals in their tracks. If you cannot turn an experience into something positive, it could truly ruin your whole day, or even longer. Thinking positive, and declaring, and remembering the positive is a difficult habit to make, but it could change your life.


But let me cut to the chase. 


The truth is, in everything, I think we could take a more positive look at life. 
Many of my friends are dieting for the new year, my husband is also dropped soda from his diet. Too often, these changes in our lives, or even lifestyles we adopt can focus too much on the negative. We are against not grass fed meats and against sugar and against dairy. We become anti fast food and anti fluff novels and anti country music. On top of this, Christians my age are anti "religion" and find that most all churches have terrible policy of one thing or another. In general, and perhaps most frustrating, people my age are constantly changing jobs (and complaining about them on social media) because of all the terrible conditions and hours and coworkers....
and it goes on and on and on....


But what I propose is this, I believe we should be for well cooked wholesome foods, for the wonderful taste of grass fed, free range meats. Why cant we wax eloquent on the beauty of good novels and expound on the fabulous band we just found? Why cant we talk about how wonderful it is to eat food that is made and raised with care instead of bashing food we don't agree with and making those around us feel unfit? Why don't we spend a little more time discussing the wonderful things the lord is doing in churches we may not love rather than disparaging local churches about their size and policy? Why cant we be ever so thankful to be working in a era of unemployment and discuss a wonderful thing that happened, or the terribly strange and interesting people we met?


Now in all these cases, the negative might be, probably is true. YES, the chemicals in food are bad for you. YES, people, churches make mistakes. YES, I have worked many a menial job and I know that they are very rough somedays. YES, taking soda out of your diet is a good thing to do. Its true. 


 All I'm proposing is that we remember the power our words have and 


..."whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil 4:8

I get to keep him!

And I haven't fully soaked it in. Jay asked me on Sat night, and last night I finally allowed myself a squeal...alone. in the car. I really am not the girly type.
Anyways. He tells the story better than me, and wrote it down for our one-day wedding website (no plans are going to be laid till AFTER Christmas) and here it is...

"When It Happened


      11/13/2010

The Proposal

      Under the guise of simply celebrating 18 months of dating, Jay planned a date that actually began on Friday evening. He took Rachel to places that have been important to them throughout the course of their relationship: the house where they met, a swing where they sat on their first date, his parents' house, and the coffee shop where they first got together for coffee after meeting one another. Knowing how much Rachel loves receiving letters, Jay wrote a letter for each location, and he read the letters aloud to Rachel. Each letter spoke of the importance of the location, and what he loved most about their time together there. At the end of the night, after only four letters, Rachel thought the date was over. It was only just beginning.



      On the morning of the 13th Jay & Rachel drove up to Boone. On their way to meet some friends for breakfast, Jay turned off and drove to Rachel's old apartment, where he had visited her when he came to Boone for the first time. She was delighted to find out that he had more letters. The next few hours were spend with some good friends, and after leaving them, the date continued. Jay got a little lost trying to find the next location, but Rachel helped him and they got to a gazebo on the campus of Appalachian State University where they had eaten dinner together once when Jay made an unexpected visit. The letter was read, and they continued on their way. After getting some coffee, and looking at funny books about body language and kids scared of Santa, they drove up the mountain to go on a short hike. At the top of the hike they took a while to sit and look out over the land, taking in the breeze and the comforting silence, before coming back down the mountain. The final stop, or so Rachel thought, was at the Six Pence Pub in Blowing Rock. Jay had written one last letter, and he read it to her on a bench outside, because the pub was too full.



       After this it seemed Rachel was sure the date was over, and Jay wasn't really suggesting otherwise. However, as they started back toward Boone to finish out the evening, Jay asked if they could return to the place where he first told Rachel that he was in love with her. So they drove up the side of the mountain, and after making one or two wrong turns, managed to find that special place that overlooked the valley. There they sat on that rocky cliff and watched the sun go down behind the mountains. The weather was perfect. The sky was clear, and the sun's rays shimmered as they shot out from behind the mountains. Jay, pretending to be cold, retrieved his coat from the car, which happened to have the ring in its pocket. As he stood on the rock and faced Rachel, he told her about the ways that she has changed his life. "I would go anywhere with you. I want to go everywhere with you," he said. Then he got down on one knee, fiddled awkwardly trying to get the ring out of his pocket, and asked Rachel to marry him. She said "yes" and he put the ring on her finger. As the last light of the sun was fading and the twinkling stars were slowly appearing, there was a long embrace, and many joyous thoughts about what was coming for these two people who were very, very much in love."

From here

Beautiful mornings

So, a handyman is supposed to show up today to check the fire alarms and change the air filters. I'm always nervous to get in the shower or do anything that might leave me suprised if the handyman/delivery guy/any sort of stranger shows up. So I've been doing what I have been doing of late, checking out blogs....enjoying my morning.

Its so beautiful when it rains in the fall!

Well my life went from zero to sixty in no time flat.

I have two jobs now, and all the stress and buckets of coffee caught up with me today.

I spent the morning relaxing, eating good foods, drinking coffee... but as soon as I hit work, my stomach was not happy at all. Acid stomach, or heartburn, or I dont know what it was but blech. This has never happened to me before.

So I drank some baking soda, (Alkaline! I taught IPC, I did!) and am currently sipping on cup of boiled cinnamin stick (supposedly a remedy for acidic stomach from the middle east).

I really need to be sleeping.

Remember

At church, we have been going through the book of Joshua. The series was entitled The Land, and it paralleled the walk of the Israelites on their way to their Promised Land with our own struggles on our walk into the ultimate calling and blessings in our life.

….I’ll bet, like me, they doubted.

I’ll bet they awoke some mornings without zeal for the long walk ahead of them that day. I’ll bet they wondered some days where they were, and if they were on the right route. I’ll bet some days they forgot even where they were headed. I’ll bet some days they awoke with very little hope. I’ll bet they often felt like they were going to wander the wilderness forever. That sometimes even the manna they miraculously received felt paltry and dry.

I’ll bet, like me, they also hoped.

I’ll bet they clung to reminders that one day, one day sooner or later, they would come to the promised land. Reminders like the ever present smoke and fire. They reminded one another, I’ll bet. They would tell one another, “He promised. He promised us a home, a resting place, plenty. He promised that one day we would get there. We will.” When they days got long, and dusty, and hopeless, they reminded one another. They remembered for one another.

I’ll bet some days they just wished the Lord had given them a map. But if He had given them a map, they could have done it all on their own strength. Instead they, like me, had to learn the lesson of daily obedience. Of not knowing, but staying close to him, and following day by day, hour by hour, step by dusty step. They had to daily awake, gather their manna, and follow the pillar of smoke.

And remember.

 

He promised.

Bernoulli....

Sitting in Caribu, trying to come up with enough research to make me feel comfortable about the interview and presentation I am going to give tomorrow. It’s a job with a company called MadScience. They give parties and afterschool programs to wee children and try to interest them in science. Something I love. I have to present on Bernoulli’s principle for five minutes.


But I’m afraid that I won’t make Bernoulli’s principle entertaining enough.

I remember the day I taught this to the ninth grade class. Fourteen boys and four girls. Too much energy for a teacher with six weeks experience. I taught them the basics, did a few demonstrations, then handed them two sections of straw and a cup of water in order to make atomizers….it was a good day. Lots of interest and curiosity, and water everywhere.

I miss teaching.

I miss working.

I wish life would get into gear. Any gear will do.

Summer dinner at our house.

Its dinner time in Duestchland. Here are the the ingredients!

(sorry about the quality, my camera is acting up)

Tomatoes. (My parents have had this colander since they were first married 26 years ago. My dad remembers because it is slightly melted at the bottom.)

Plus green peppers (and a few more ingredients)....equal....

Pasta Salad! (in Polish pottery!)

Add Mead.

And chickens smoked on the grill.

Et voila! Summer Dinner.

Strawberries and vanilla ice cream for dessert.

Hello, Sweet Summer...

I miss Boone.

 I miss writing long, boring academic papers about things I'm insanely interested in while drinking cheerwine from CookOut.

I miss having 40 books checked out from the library.

I miss cool summer nights in the mountains with stars like nothing else.

I miss poking through junk shops on Main St.

I miss history and academia and not being looked at strangely when everything I think about relates in some way to history or anthropology.

Oh how life changes!

I am also looking forward to moving to a real, live grown up type apartment complex.

I'm looking forward to wearing heels more often and not tumbling down a mountain when I do.

I'm looking forward to learning to love the flatlands.

I'm looking forward to seeking and finding a new passion (and maybe a coninciding job!).

I'm looking forward to getting the drive to make art.

I am learning.

Thoughts from the road...

Winter hit Boone hard this year. Spring is just now peeking her head around the corner to see if its safe to come out. The roads are all pockmarked and whole swaths of trees are dead and fallen over, their root balls as tall as a grown person.

Jon Amos Comenius, the moravian archbishop who's name my high school inherited used to say that Nature is God's second book. He admonished people to notice the cyclicity of nature, and to use it as a textbook for life.

If there is any lesson I have learned, it is this. After every winter, not matter how hard, no matter how long...there is spring.

 Sometimes spring is a just little long in coming.

"I will change your world for you"

Plant your hopes. 

"Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone;

but if it dies,

 it produces much grain."

John 12:24

He is faithful.

Someone, a good while ago, told me that the Lord was going to return me to my childhood dreams. I was so far into the world of academia, I could not even remember what those dreams were.

So now, about a year later, with everything I held dear in college, gone, I am watching Little Women and remembering. I wanted to be Jo. I lived a childhood of grand dreams of far away places. I thought archaeology would take me there.

And it hasn't.

But there is still a book left in me to write, there is a still a loveable professor's hands to fill, there is still an echoing old house to fill with little boys. There are still adventures left.

Struggles

I have been dealing with emotional backlash from my horomones...and it makes me really frustrated with myself. I wish I was well. I wish my brain and its chemicals worked as they were designed.
I wish I knew if these little problems that I blow way out of proportion due to the anxiety and depression onslaught are going to become big issues in the future.
I wonder if I will every have confidence in a decision I make.

I am fighting an odd and difficult battle, and I'm frustrated.
I need a resolution.

....sorrow

My heart is heavy tonight. A friend of mine from when I was a very little girl died last week. He was murdered. Today I saw the police report, and a picture of the man who shot him. His funeral was yesterday...And I'm not even sure how to articulate my feelings. My heart is quite heavy...

When I first found out, it was a bit surreal. It just now hit home that this 23 year old boy...is gone.

traaaadition....TRADITION!

This year, as this is the first Christmas I am officially dating, I have been thinking about quirky family traditions, or Christmas traditions in general.
Jay's family always has a particular Christmas breakfast. In my family, we get pjs, and ornament for Christmas, as well as a toothbrush and an orange in our stockings. We aren't (still!) allowed out of our room (or my parents lock themselves in theirs) late on Christmas eve, as my parents set up all the gifts and stockings around the Christmas tree. For quite a few years, my sister and brother and I would all sleep in one room on Christmas Eve and watch one of the Star Wars (original trilogy only).

So anyways,
been learning about more Christmas traditions and thinking of some I really think are awesome

Like...the Christmas pickle, an ancient Teutonic? (German?) tradition in which a pickle ornament is hidden on the Christmas tree. The first kid to find one (on Christmas morning?)  gets a prize or an extra gift...or something. My aunt gave me a pickle ornament last year, might be fun to do someday.
My grandmother always had a bird on the tree cause it was supposed to bring good luck in the New Year, some cultures do this with spiders and spider webs!
I like it when people open pjs on Chrismas Eve too...but matching ones are a bit overboard...
As well, as, of course, reading the true Christmas story....


Anyways, those are my thoughts

Art.

I've been having a good morning, its been quiet. I've been up for nearly four hours and I'm still in my pj's. Toast, Krispie treats and coffee and reading and trying to get back into an inspired state.

There is an art show next month and I want to enter a piece.

But I dont know what to do.

Being an artist is a daunting thing.

I wish I was brave enough to be one.

Christmas wish list

Every year around this time my mom has me write a wish list.

This is what I would really want:

~a full time job that engages my brain and allows me to work with creative, caring, and inovative people (not that those at my current job aren't those things)

~enough income to pay my bills and go out to eat once or twice a week

~no student loans

~my car to magically regenerate brakes, cv boots, and an oil pan gasket

~clarity and vision about what to do next

Adventures since May....Catch up time

So...I suppose I need to get everything back up to speed. Here is goes.

May:

I gradjumated from App State, Magna Cum Laude, my family was in the country, my grandfather came from Toronto and it was a lot of fun!

I also started dating this amazing man:

June-July:

Long distance relationship (lots of skype)

I painted a bit:

July- today :

I moved in with this amazing friend:

And I got to paint my bedroom (whatever color i wanted)!

I have been working (at a job I dislike) and dating (a fellow I very much like (and not long distance)).

I have been looking for a new job.... and trying to get into a new rythm... and keeping an eye out for new adventures